Friday, February 23, 2018

Black Panther is the greatest movie of all time


Black Panther (BP). So hyped I thought it was going to be impossible for it to live up. For the most part it does. It's a super solid movie and is at worst a top three Marvel Cinematic Universe film. I'd put it at second behind Ragnarok and just ahead of the first Guardians movie. Dope but not perfect, basically. But culturally it is what we need, or at least that is my unoriginal take.

Fake news
Forever it's been the unspoken rule that black movies don't sell. Just like R-rated superhero movies would sell tickets before Deadpool.  This became the spoken rule when the Sony leaks came out. But it's the foreign audience that is racist... Right... But here we are.  With this dope black movie that is fucking crushing it. Right time? Right circumstances? Definitely. Yeah, what we need. Also a dope movie in a kick ass universe. Hopefully studios learn the right lesson here which I shan't get into.

Just stop
The dumbest shit I've seen said about this movie is from fucking Breitbart which I shant link to (ever). At first the right said it sucked. Created Facebook events to flood Rotten Tomatoes with negative reviews to tank the audience score and shit. This was the alt-right reaction to what they call "social justice warriors" or SJWs. When that didn't work they took to condescending everybody with their "hey black people, Wakanda does not exist." No fucking shit. No one fucking thinks that. Gotham, Metropolis, Atlantis. No one believes they exist either. When Justice League came out no one said anything like this. Shit is racist. Now, typically, they are claiming as their own which is fucking absurd. The dumbshit at Breitbart in "The Movie’s Hero Is Trump, the Villain Is Black Lives Matter" trolls us with shit like "If T’Challa is Trump, Killmonger is Black Lives Matter. Did I just write that? Yes. I. Did." At first I thought he had only watched the first half of the movie because T'Challa abandons his isolationist philosophies but then we get this shit: "By the end of the movie, T’Challa is even more like Trump inasmuch as he sees that his country of Wakanda cannot completely isolate itself from the world because he has a moral responsibility to help others," and "if T’Challa were a left-wing Democrat — a Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton — he would oppose bringing people together." What's that now? This has to be a fucking joke. Not funny though. And the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

Rotten Tomato Consensus: Black Panther elevates superhero cinema to thrilling new heights while telling one of the MCU's most absorbing stories -- and introducing some of its most fully realized characters.

Pros: Story is fucking dope. Get some vegetarian representation, finally (though that character does make a joke about feeding a dude to his kids ["JK. We don't eat meat."] which was sardonic and hilarious). The cast is sick.

Cons: The action is meh, like always. Every movie is Some of the CGI was shockingly bad. Like in the scene during the big battle near the end when BP tackles a rhino I laughed out loud it looked like such shit. It was worse than anything in the Lord of the Rings movies from 15 years ago. Definitely the worst CGI I've seen in a MCU flick.

To start, if there is hot black actor in a show or a movie you've seen in the last couple years, they are probably in this movie. Got Chadwick Boseman as T'Challa / Black Panther. Was James Brown, Thurgood Marshall, and Jackie Robinson. Lot of sweet historical roles there. Michael B. Jordan who was Creed in Creed, Wallace in The Wire, and QB1 in Friday Night Lights, is Killmonger (or as I call him, Murdergasm), the main villain dude. Lupita Nyong'o who was in 12 Years a Slave, Star Wars: The Forece Awakens, and The Jungle Book is one of the female leads/love interest, Danai Gurira who is Michone in The Walking Dead, Daniel Kaluuya who is the main dude in Get Out, Angela Bassett and Forest Whitaker who need no introduction are in it, as is Sterling K. Brown from This is Us and played Christopher Darden in American Crime Story. Martin Freeman and Andy Serkis (who was really dope) are the white dudes that are also in the movie.

The films gives us T'Challa who rises from prince to king--which comes with the perk of receiving the powers of the Black Panther--of the technologically advanced isolationist nation state of Wakanda. As seen in Captain America: Civil War, the previous king, T'Challa's old man, was killed in a terrorist attack. After a brief reign on the throne, Killmonger, T'Challa's cousin who's dad (T'Challa's paternal uncle), seizes power with the intention of using Wakanda's tech to cause worldwide uprisings for oppressed peoples (he isn't wrong but is sort of a total asshole [with his {spoiler} dying breath he basically tells T'Challa "You still a slave, bitch" but much more eloquently). Shit then hits the old fan.

Two things I've been focusing on with this movie--one of which came up in conversation while the other came up in a podcast--were how his suit works and vibranium as a metaphor for culture. The suit comes out of the dueling black panthers' necklaces. It sort of engulfs them. But late in the movie, at a point when the vibranium that they run on is neutralized, we sort of see the suit pealing off sort of thing where we get bare skin. So are they naked underneath that? Are their clothes like stuffed in those little teeth on the necklace? How are they clothed when the suit completely disappears? So forth. The vibranium as a metaphor for culture is the hottest take I've heard on the movie. Heard it on the podcast The Daily Zeitgeist. The guest was talking about an African friend of his who came up with this. Slick viewing, this guy. This guy says vibranium is "a treasure trove of artistic and spiritual resources that, like Wakanda, are 'hiding in plain sight'-- disdained by whites, but also always at risk of being exploited by them." So basically look for academic study on this film in the future (which I'm totally into).

Only thing I can really shit on besides the CGI are the weapons that Okoye (Gurira) and Shuri (T'Challa's sister who is played by Letitia Wright and is like a super genius) use in the battle scenes. Okoye has these magic frisbee golf  discs while Shuri has these lame wizard hands that shoot concussion blasts of vibranium. Shit is whack. But, yeah, other than that shit is dope. You should watch it as it is the greatest movie of all time.

Monday, February 5, 2018

The Killing of a Sacred Deer is the greatest movie of all time



Here we go. The Killing of a Sacred Deer. Played at the IU Cinema, best place to see a movie, last month. Horrorish I'd say. An extremely uncomfortable film that was beautifully done, darkly humorous, and while I'd recommend watching it, doubt that anyone, including myself will be watching it a second time. So I'm gonna call it the greatest movie of all time but I did not like watching it at all.

The film follows a cardiac surgeon played by Colin Farrell who secretly befriends a teenage boy. He introduces the boy to his family, who then fall mysteriously ill. The boy reveals that this is revenge for the doctor killing his father on the operating table three years earlier and it will only end with the death of a family member, a decision he must make. But it is also a sort of a comedy. Totally strange bummer of a flick that made me LOL twice(ish).


Pros: Performances are sold (especially from the creepy murder boy). The story is interesting and stressful in a good way. Surprisingly funny for a movie about a guy who has to kill someone in his family.

Cons: Uncomfortable in so many ways the worst coming off the hypothetical (obviously). The ending is garbage and there are no consequences for anyone.

Notes: It's supposed to have allusions to Greek mythology or whatever, I know more about the subject than most and didn't pick up on that shit, but ain't nobody got time for that. Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos, a Greek, I'm guessing, the film is based on the play Iphigenia in Aulis by Euripides which I am unfamiliar. You can look that shit up if you want.

Don't care what he says, only a psycho eats spaghetti this way
The film stars Farrell as the heart surgeon/psycho dad, Nicole Kidman as his eye doctor wife, Barry Keoghan as the creepy-ass kid (Martin, who eats basketti like a psycho but thinks it's the way everyone eats it and makes a speech about it) with the dead dad, magic powers, and Robert Durst eyes, and Raffey Cassidy and Sunny Suljic and the daughter and son respectively. Alicia Silverstone also makes an appearance as Keoghan's mom at an extremely strange dinner with Farrell and Keoghan where she just sort of starts randomly sucking on Farrell's hand, which he is not into. Yeah, it's that kind of movie.

Silverstone, still looking fly
Movie starts with Farrell and Keoghan meeting at a diner. Farrell has sort of taken the boy under his wing and is sort of a mentor, I guess. Later we see him buying him an expensive watch as a present. They meet in secret at first but then Farrell invites the kid over to meet his family and have dinner. He lies to his wife and colleague at the hospital, an anesthesiologist, about how he knows the kid. I think it is pretty safe to say that everyone universally at this point thinks Farrell is fucking that kid. Turns out he is not. He just killed his dad—by accident—when he came in for surgery. Farrell was maybe drinking but didn't have more than a drink so that isn't supposed to factor into it. But this holds a grudge, if you can call it that, and wants to even the score. Dude took a member of his family. Now dude has to take a member of his own family. Through in a bunch of weirdness and that is the movie. But the weirdness is what makes the movie.

Kinky
Some of said weirdness. Farrell and his wife have some weird shit going on sexually where Kidman pretty much pretends to be a corpse and Farrell does her. This gets even more fucked when he is thinking about killing her and was one of the many things in the movie that was hard to watch (there is also some child torturing which I shan't get into).

Basically all of the dialogue from every character is completely deadpan no matter what is going on which provides much of the film's dark humor. Like when the girl keeps losing her MP3 player and asks her brother if she can have his when he is dead in a couple of days. Or when the boy starts bleeding from his eyes and she yells, “dad, Bob is dying,” the way one would yell about say burning popcorn or something. Or when everyone, including the girl herself, keeps announcing in casual conversation that the daughter has just had her first period. It's that kind of movie.

Bob, dying with his MP3 player
In the end one person dies and everything goes back to normal—which again, not normal—and they just ignore all the insanity that went down. The outcome is just something everyone accepts and just moves on from. Murder, no big.

So yeah, solid movie. Weird as shit. No real consequences. Pretty unsettling. That about covers it. 

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Justice League is the worst film of all time

So the Justice League is bad but also is really bad. But not as bad as I was expecting. Out of the 2.75 DC Universe films I've seen, I basically couldn't finish Batman vs. Superman and haven't seen Man of Steel or Wonder Woman yet, I'd put this as the most enjoyable. Again, though, pretty bad. Justice League, in fact, was the worst film of all time. I know I just said it was better than two other movies but we are binary in this bitch.

When it comes to the comics I'm into, I much more of a DC than Marvel guy. However, with the movies, there are no DC over Marvel people, though the Christopher Nolan Batman Trilogy was god tier. Saying such a thing would give one limited credibility. Based on all the shit that DC is putting out, I'd be surprised if we get much farther in that world before it all falls apart. That said, let's get into it.

Rotten Tomato Consensus: Justice League leaps over a number of DC movies, but its single bound isn't enough to shed the murky aesthetic, thin characters, and chaotic action that continue to dog the franchise.

Ger
Pros: Music--both Danny Elfman's original (which included some dope samples of previous Batman and Superman themes) and the soundtrack. That Gal Gadot is really something. That Superman guy, Henry Cavill, is pretty good too.

Cons: The CGI is shockingly bad. I fucking can't get past it. Steppenwolf, the villain, looks especially horrendous. He is also a loser. The plot is confusing and is all over the place. The Flash running looks stupid. The Flash is basically Spiderman. The jokes that they sandwiched in for the reshoots are fucking terrible and need to stop.

The basic gist here is Aquaman (Jason Momoa who was Kahl Drogo in GoT), Batman (Ben Affleck), Cyborg whom I hate (Ray Fisher who I've never seen in anything else), Flash (Ezra Miller, a Justin Long/Chris Kattan hybrid), and Wonder Woman (Gadot who is really something) come together to fight off this stupid looking CGI dude wearing a horned helmet named Steppenwolf who is all about enslaving Earth with the use of the three Mother Boxes, don't ask, and his flying, insectile goons called Parademons that feed on fear and also look stupid. All this is sort of vaguely follows Justice League #1 for the The New 52, especially when it comes to these Parademons. To defeat Steppenwolf, however, they require what-have-yous of Superman who is at present living impaired. So they must resurrect the uber man like the Christlike figure that he is to kick ass and take names. 

Steppenwolf, basking in his lameness
Things go wrong right off the... ugh... bat. The movie starts with a little phone video of Superman. Obviously one of the reshoots as his lip looks weird. Because actor Henry Cavill had in his contract for another film--Mission Impossible 6 (which I'm sure will be... great)--that he couldn't shave his stache, they had to CGI it out. This is not a good first impression. Nor does the CGI get any better as, again, Steppenwolf is just looks fucking god awful. Steppenwolf is also super fucking bland and boring. His motivation is crazy fucking vague, too.

The most cringe worthy acting comes from Fisher, Miller, and Momoa though it is hard to say if it is actually the performance or the shit they have to say. While I still can't get behind Affleck as Batman, I guess he does alright. Superman is cool and dark and has insane pecs. Gadot is an attractive lady who moves like a bad ass and is quite compelling. Jeremy Irons is okay. Everyone else is just there.

The best parts of the movie were when they wake up Superman and he loses his shit on everyone, basically any time Wonder Woman is on screen doing her thing, the scene where Aquaman (a total bro in this flick) confesses a bunch of uncomfortable stuff for a bro because he is holding Wonder Woman's lasso (which was the funniest scene in the movie), and the end, post-credit scene when Lex Luther (played by Jesse Eisenberg) meets with Deathstroke, saying that they should "form (their) own league." Best scene in the movie shouldn't be hyping another movie, obviously... but it sort of got me interested/excited about what might be on the horizon for the DC Extended Universe.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Night of the Demons is the Greatest Movie of All Time


Night of the Demons a vastly strange movie about ten teens who, during a break from a party at an abandoned funeral home, take part in a séance that conjures up a demonic presence. Despite this evil force taking possession of them, all ends up well for the group. Just kidding. They mostly all die in what is the greatest movie of all time.

Who doesn't love a little occult dabbling and demon conjuring on Halloween night? That was how mine played out. Certainly the kids in Night of the Demons were into it as Angela, the girl throwing the party, gathers a group of almost universally unlikable teens in their early 30s for a little of the old summoning evil resulting in multiple possessions and death!!!

Overrated
The movie came out in 1988 and features scream queen Linnea Quigley who is unfortunately naked throughout most of the movie. You might remember her as the naked chick in Return of the Living Dead. I don't get why 1980s dudes were so into her as she is pretty gross. One of the other chicks they make out to be some super hotty, this Angela chick, isn't much better. The other three girls are nice though. But I digress.

Pros: Lot of good stuff here. Again, some of the ladies are alright. The Alice in Wonderland costume, who is the survivor girl, is really not bad. The makeup is insane. The story really moves along and is interesting. There are a couple of chuckles. The acting is campy but solid for the most part.

Cons: A lot of unwanted nudity. Basically all of the characters except maybe the first girl to die and the survivor girl are extremely unlikable (but since they all die maybe that isn't so bad). And everything with the old man that sort of book ends the film is just the worst.

Cha-chas
Basically every character in this movie is a huge asshole. Jay, Lance Fenton whom you may remember as one of the gay football bros from Heathers, is rapey and a dick. He is the rich bully type from coming of age movies. He is picking up the survivor girl, Judy, who is alright but her and her brother Billy have a weird relationship. He is very young but acts like he knows everything and even talks about his sister's “cha-chas” which is gross. Next we meet Pig face, Stooge, who is the worst. He basically is Zeke from Bob's Burgers all grown up except way more of an aggressive asshole. He causes the group he is rolling to the party with to get stranded by driving like an idiot and getting a flat. When the girl in the car says something about it, he threatens to beat her. Charmer, this guy. They are also giving this black kid a lift. Judy, Jay, this dude who looks exactly like the kid from Adventures in Babysitting but is not that kid, whose name in this is Max, and this attractive Asian chick drive by. Max gives the group with a flat a “hand”, clapping at them as they drive by, because he is a dick.

Another asshole, Sal, shows up uninvited. I end up liking him in the end but he is mostly a cock early in the film. He gets called “Count Dingleberry, the Flaming Asshole of Translyvania” when he jumps out a coffin which was sort of funny. And finally we have the two sleazy girls, Angela, the witch hosting the party, and Linnea Quigley who is the naked chick in several other 80s horror movies, most notably Return of the Living Dead. She is gross and looks to be in her 40s, they are all supposed to be in high school.

Anyway, once everyone is there, the locale is an abandoned funeral home, they find a mirror and have a séance. The girl who doesn't matter in all this, the one Stooge verbally abused, sees a demon face and her face all busted up like smacking on the inside of the mirror, this later happens on a car windshield. She freaks and breaks it which prompts Stooge to threaten to beat her, again. This guy, man. But this is where shit starts to go down as the demon shows up out of the cremation furnace and possesses Quigley.

One of two gross chicks who get naked
The chick that saw the demon and the black dude try to leave and fail. Around here the weird girl Angela explains that the house is possessed, not haunted and goes into detail about the difference between the two and how they are all fucked. Stooge, however, has no time for that shit as he is there to “fucking rage” and off they all go to do teenage things.

Basically the dudes get rapey and Angela, who also gets possessed, and Quiggley get weirder. Angela starts dancing about, giving Sal a private show. It's insane. She dances like a cray. Sal is like, “uh, is this sexy?” Like, I gotta go. I like this guy. Elsewhere Quigley is naked. Gross. She shoves her lipstick into her fake boob. What?

And for the rest of the movie things are fucked and most everybody ends up dead and possessed except the survivor girl and the black dude. It's a fun little horror flick that holds up today. The ending is fucking dumb and comes out of nowhere but I will ignore it and recommend it as the greatest movie of all time. 

Monday, November 13, 2017

Murder Party is the greatest movie of all time


When it comes to movies that boast a $0 budget, Murder Party is easily the best I've ever seen. It has sort of the same feel as Sushi Girl, if you are familiar with that piece of shit, except infinitely better with what was supposedly a $0 budget as the filmmakers also financed the film.

The production company, called The Lab of Madness, again, consists mostly of cast and crew (basically the same thing) who have been making movies together since elementary school. There is a pretty cool interview with actor Macon Blair, who play Macon (the one who dresses up as a werewolf in the movie) and director Jeremy Saulnier on Monsterfresh.com from back when the movie came out. Here they talk about self financing the film and working together (along with Christopher Sharp, the lead named Chris) from childhood on. While in high school Sandy Barnett (who plays Alexander), Paul Goldblatt (Paul), and William Lacey (Bill) would join them in these VHS movie making adventures with all of them studying film in one form or another after graduation.

After making several short films, it came time for them to create their first feature but they were unable to get any funding. So the group took matters into their own hands and just started making the movie with what they had which is awesome and the result was this master piece which turns out to be the greatest movie of all time.

Pros: Well acted especially considering unknowns. Dope special effects. Nice kills and gore. Interesting take on art/artists and grant money (know how that is). Really fun story.

Cons: Really don't have anything negative to say about this other than it was shot on digital. Great film. 

Notes: Murder Party features a guy named Chris who finds an invitation to a "murder party" dated for Halloween night, that evening, while walking home from work. After baking up some pumpkin bread with non-organic raisins in it, he goes to the party hosted by a group of artists set on killing him in hopes of getting grant money from a supposedly rich benefactor named Alexander. Things do not go as planned as people die, mostly horribly and hilariously, and what's more is that no one appreciates the pumpkin bread. As animosity and jealousy flares up among the the artists, and one brings his assistant to the performance to light his shots, Chris sees his opportunity to use the disorder to make make a break for it.

Despite the lack of budget, there are some excellent kills and the makeup is pretty groovy as well. Since they had no money to work with, the group focused their funds on making one or effects really dope. Effects artists Paul Goldblatt (whom you'll recognize as Paul) and Chris Connelly (who specialized in make up) did not disappoint. The two that really came to mind were when the guy in the werewolf mask's face catches on fire and it melts to his face (thanks to Goldblatt) and when the guy who gets the chainsaw to head (which was Connelly's handiwork). That second scene is long and brutal and looks amazing.

The movie is also super funny and does a good job of mixing in one-liners and some long setup chuckles. A lot of the jokes involve artist community humor. Basically poking fun at how pretentious people are and artists continue to roll with bad ideas and so forth. Also how cutthroat and catty it can get.

All in all, this was a super solid movie and you should really check it out. I will definitely be watching the rest of Saulnier's body of work and what he comes out with in the future. 

Monday, October 30, 2017

Rewatched Friday the 13th... Still the worst movie of all time


Since it was just Friday the 13th, Dr. Carver's Auteur Autopsy takes another look at Friday the 13th. Spoiler. It's still trash.

Watched it at the local drive-in, Starlite. Local horror legend Sammy Terry was there. Despite technical difficulties with the movie, it was still a blast with Sammy yucking it up.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Happy Death Day is the greatest movie of all time



Tis the season for studios to give us the horror they've been setting on for months in hopes that the holiday will get people in seats to watch teens get sliced and diced. With cinemas saturated with trash, it rarely works. It seems like the better movies, or ones expected to more commercially successful, films like Mother and the 12th Annabelle movie, are usually out by late summer, leaving October with the bottom of the barrel. Despite conventional reasoning here, Happy Death Day fucking rocked. Watch the video to see my take!

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Dr. Carver's Auteur Autopsy presents Creature of Destruction


Dr. Carver's Auteur Autopsy presents Creature of Destruction! Come watch our first movie together where I will be trying hypnotizing my lovely nurse and turning her into a blood-thirsty monster!

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

It is the greatest movie of all time


 It was so hyped that there was almost no way that it was not going to disappoint, at least a little bit. About the time we collective had decided this, critics came back and said, "no, believe the hype, for reals." While It doesn't quite live up to all that, it was a very solid movie, especially for horror, which seems to be finally getting some respect as a genre. Above is my Dr. Carver, Auteur Autopsy review. Enjoy!

The film follows seven bullied adolescents who come together to form the "Losers' Club" when a supernatural clown terrorizes them and kidnaps and eats children in the sewer system, where he resides, in town of Derry, ME. Along the way, we witness their growing pains like dealing with a sociopath, love triangles, and their parents (who are the worst). All that being said, this is basically nostalgia porn. It has its moments where it is scary but if you could handle Stranger Things then you can handle this.


The movie is only the second feature film of up-and-comer Andy Muschietti, which is extremely impressive, and stars mostly unknowns in Jaeden Lieberher as the leader of the Losers' Club Bill Denbrough and Bill Skargard (who was in Hemlock Grove [the rich vampire one] and Atomic Blonde and is the son of Stellan Skargard who was the killer in Girl with the Dragon Tattoo among other things) as the immediately terrifying Pennywise the Dancing Clown or It. Rounding out the rest of the Losers are Jack Dylan Grazer who sort of stole the show with his dry humor as Eddie Kaspbrak who is the smallish sickly one with asthma, Chosen Jacobs as Mike Hanlon--the black one, Sophia Lillis as Bev Marsh--the girl that Bill makes out with at the end, Wyatt Oleff as Stan Uris--the jewish one, Jeremy Ray Taylor who is the chubby one that also kisses and is into Bev, and Finn Wolfhard (whom you'll recognize as the main boy in Stranger Things [I think he does a better job here btw])as Richie Tozier who is the funny one with glasses. I don't know if this is a spoiler or not, it won't really make any sense if you don't know at least this so just roll with it, the movie is first of at least two movies movies based on Stephen King's book of the same name.

Pros: The acting is flawless across the board. Where do they find these kids? Skargard was really good too. Like when he is talking to Georgie, the first kid we see him kill, trying to get him to come up to the sewer grate, you hear a kind of desperation in voice that you didn't get with Tim Curry, the original Pennywise. Seeing my childhood years, I'd be about the same age as the kids in 1989, portrayed on screen is always pretty cool and this film really gets that time period, which is dope. It's just a really sweet movie about child abduction, murder, and cannibalism (though I guess technically not since Pennywise is a

Cons: Not as scary as I wanted it to be. Just a couple of jump scares and one super creepy scene. When Pennywise dances it is more unintentionally hilarious than spooky. They strip down two characters in a way that is pretty irritating.

Rotten Tomato Consensus: Well-acted and frightening with an emotionally affecting story at its core, It amplified the horror in Stephen King's classic story without losing touch with its heart.

Random thoughts on It: Here are my sort of complaints and one thing I thought was pretty awesome. First, there are two too many kids for a film of this length, at least in the way that the director/studio decided to do it. Those two kids are Mike and Stan who are basically just the black one and the Jewish one respectively. In the book and the miniseries this was not so. The difference was that they took away the two characters' things and gave them to Ben and Bev, giving them even more screen time. In the book it was Mike who does all the research on the town and discovers the pattern of the clown. In this film this role was given to Ben who had his own thing in the book (he was really good at building stuff). Stan, meanwhile, basically offers nothing. He is sort of the voice of reason, I guess, but less than in King's telling where he has a Spock-like presence. In this adaptation, he comes off more of a wuss. The most irritating thing here is that in the book, Stan saw the dead lights before the battle when they are kids, survived but was unable to completely adjust, and eventually was unable to deal when Pennywise reappears in adulthood (SPOILER FOR THE BOOK: Stan kills himself). SPOILER FOR THE FILM: Here they completely take that shit and give it to Bev which is sort of bull shit.

My biggest fear here is that they are setting up some long, horrible franchise like with The Conjuring movies. Could you imagine them doing prequels or even worse movies where they are old or their children fight Pennywise. Gag. Let's hope they stick with just one more.

The film is not as scary as I was expecting. There were basically two scenes that creeped me out and two scenes that made me jump. The scene in the garage is easily the most insane and where Pennywise is genuinely pretty terrifying and where he twists out of that clock during one of the battle scenes is cool looking and creep city. When he catches the kids he generally just grabs them and is like, "Boogah-boogah! ... Are you scared? ... ... ... Boogah-boogah!"

The movie had way more humor in it than the miniseries. It seems like they got the kid from Stranger Things just to crack wise, and he does a great fucking job. Like after they go to the reservoir and the young girl swims around and suns herself in her underpants and the boys lose it, the next day she says to them "I need to show you something," and he asks, sardonically, "More than you showed us yesterday at the quarry" He is pretty good with the one-liners.Then there is Eddie who is just super dry and funny as shit. Example: Richie gives him shit about taking so many pills and he snaps back that he takes them so that he can do Richie's sister. Or something like that. Just like the kids I grew up with.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Dr. Carver's Auteur Autopsy discusses Freaks of Nature


This week I talk about 2015's Freaks of Nature, a vampire, werewolf, alien, zombie, coming of age horror/comedy. This is of the direct to video, premier is my living room variety of movie which is surprising considering its star power (more on that in a minute). Though the movie got more or less exclusively bad reviews, I loved it (though my taste may be a bit skewed with all the carnage I have to see) but it's not in the god tier of movies by any means.